Today I spoke with a friend who is getting legally married to her partner of many years. They had a wedding several years ago, before California recognized same-sex couples' marriages. I asked if they were going to have another wedding ceremony. No, she said, probably not. The one they had performed before was the real marriage. This was, I suppose, by implication, the fake wedding, imposed by the state.
It made me think about citizenship and being an American. Sometimes I think I should just start calling myself an American, legal "reality" be damned. I feel as American as anybody, I think, whatever that means. I also feel like an immigrant (it's clearer to me what that means). I propose a new term: "Undocumented Americans". It would refer to people who are American in all the real senses of the word, but whom the U.S. government refuses to recognize as citizens.
Photo: Bride by spaceodissey
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1 comment:
Maybe a counterpart to Maxine Hong Kingston's "legal father"--when I read that phrase years ago it suddenly struck me that the opposite of "legal" was not "illegal" but some other state of being, extra-legal. That legality is an artificial condition, fatherhood limited, modified. There's some connection to the non-legally-binding marriage being the "real" one--for those of us who only very reluctantly enter into legal contract, and even then for decidedly non-romantic reasons, can state sanction actually serve to delegitimize? By one's own terms of authenticity I mean, or whatever it is you edumacated types call it these days. Don't get me wrong--no gods no masters, etc., etc., but when kids or illness or immigration issues come into play, I'd do it in a heartbeat.
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